So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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