I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
third nipple confirmed
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
