did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
