10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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