This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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