I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
