you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
