You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
