p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
