your thong is hanging out like whoa
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
