I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
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I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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