I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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