good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Randomize
