Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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