I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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