so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
