I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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