You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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