I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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