My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
