Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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