turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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