what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How does one acquire holy water?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
