Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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