I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
