The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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