it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
