So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
