he wants to bone in the snuggie
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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