I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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