I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
