hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
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Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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