When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Randomize
