Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
