The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
