I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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