I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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