he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
