My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
