TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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