I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just want nice things and good sex
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
