Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
