Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
