everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
