i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
