Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
birth control should be required to get into college
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
