a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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