why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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