Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
