so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
