god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
