He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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