I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
