By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
