Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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