I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
