Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
