I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
