somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
