we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
