I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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